Dating Tips I Learned From Vin DiCarlo [Tips For MEN]

happy young couple outdoorsWhether you have been on the singles scene for quite some time and feel that you are in need of a refresher on effective dating strategies, or you are a complete newcomer when it comes to dating, you’ve come to the right place.

I have been studying master pick-up artist Vin DiCarlo for a couple of years now, and it has gotten to the point were I feel like I myself am actually something of a dating expert these days!

So, in today’s post I wanted to share a few of the most important things that I’ve learned over the past few years educating myself on this stuff:

Dating Tip #1 – Build Unbreakable Confidence (I know, I know… You’ve Heard This One BeforešŸ¤¦)

My first tip that I would give to any man who wants to improve the success that he is achieving with the ladies is this… Before anything else, anything else at all – the most important thing that you have to keep in mind is to always remain confident. Trust me, there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING that women love more than a confident man.

In fact, it is like they can smell this trait from miles away and therefore it needs to be something that you dispel naturally. Of course, becoming the sort of man who is able to put forth a confident aura at all time is something that will take just a wee bit of effort. But seriously, work on this one thing and you will be paid back in spades. The big trick and the thing that is hard to get right is that you want to come across as super confident without having too much of it lest you appear arrogant.

How exactly can you communicate to a woman that you are confident? Well, know who you are and do not be afraid to show her who that person is without talking too much about yourself. Take pride in your job, your family, your interests, and who you are, without ever bragging. Hold your head up high and be respectful of others. This will surely give any woman assurance that she is in front of a man who knows how to hold his own.

Additionally, take control of the date. Show her your confidence by planning out your first date from start to finish. This will undoubtedly impress her.

Dating Tip #2 – If You Are Over 25 Only Date Women You Would Marry

If you are a young guy in college then marriage is likely the furthest thing from your mind right now, and that’s okay. However, if you are over the age of 25 or so, you really had ought to start thinking about your future and what kind of life you want for yourself 5 or ten years down the road.

Like Ferris Bueller said – “life moves pretty fast if you don’t stop and look around once in a while you could miss it”.

This is not to say that you should get married before you are ready, not at all. Rather my tip is that you should really look at who you are dating and think deeply about whether or not they are truly a suitable partner. Many people SETTLE when it comes to relationships, and end up in relationships with people they are crazy about just because they don’t want to be alone… That’s know way to spend your life!

So if you are dating somebody you don’t see a future with, just let them go. It’s the kind thing to do. That way they can find someone who truly appreciates them for who they are and really wants to grow with them. And even more importantly it sets you free to be with somebody who you really want to go the distance with.

Dating Tip #3 – Use The Power Of Pre-Selection to Attract A Great Girlfriend

One thing a lot of guys asked me about is how they can get an amazing girlfriend. Men see me out with my girl looking like the happiest couple in the world and they sheepishly inquire, “how did you get a girl like that?” So, in this last tip I wanted to bless you with some wisdom on the best and easiest way to get some a really terrific girlfriend for yourself!

One of the things that a lot of men seem to misunderstand about women is the fact that they are always in competition with each other. This being the case, it is very important that you present yourself as the kind of guy who a woman can “use” to get her friends super jealous and envious. It seems a bit tricky, but this kind of thing is actually very powerful and based on female psychology so don’t be so quick to dismiss this methodology. Now I know what you’re thinking “Yeah, but I’m just a regular guy why would the fact that a girl is dating me make her friends jealous?” (This of course relates back to Tip #1!)

That is the problem right there! Most guys don’t think highly enough of themselves at all, and they act in a way that shows women that they have this kind of average or slightly below average self-esteem. Instead, what guys need to do is feel like they are the coolest guy in the world and then present themselves as such. What most men don’t realize is that they don’t need to really be all that exceptional and anyway, or have any “proof” that they are the cats meow in order to present themselves as such. In other words, it’s not really so much about who you are as it is about who you SAY you are if that makes any sense.

Dating Tip #4 – Be A Lifetime Learner

You should make learning more about women, how they think, what they like, how to make them love you deeply etc… a lifetime project. In this day and age there are numerous books and other training courses on this topic that a guy can pick up for just a couple of bucks and thereby get a huge upper hand when it comes to relationship dynamics. Sure, if you want to be lazy you can skip this step and tried to just be a charming guy and see how you do, but most guys to find real success with women are guys to never stop learning about women and wanting to get better and better over time. Really it’s just like anything else, it’s all about constantly improving your skill set and being a lifetime learner.

Of course we are just scratching the surface of everything that there is to learn about women and dating in this short article. So be sure to keep learning!

What Problems Prevent A Relationship From Growing?

People don’t realize how complicated a real relationship can be. People often think that they fall in love with somebody or they’re infatuated with somebody and the relationship will take care of itself. It’s not uncommon for people to confuse infatuation and initial feelings of attraction as being enough to build a relationship. This is because feeling great when you are around somebody, being super attracted to them and enjoying an intense physical relationship is hardly the foundation a REAL relationship.

How do you take your relationship to the next level? And, before we get ahead of ourselves, how do we even know for sure whether or not a relationship has the potential to be lasting? And, when we find a good relationship that we feel has potential, how do we identify what problems prevent a relationship from growing?

The first thing to realize is that real relationships between two real people are a journey that doesn’t always go forward. In fact, the average relationship often loops around. It’s kind of misguided to think that your relationship will can get better, and just “hope for the best”…

Here are some of the common reasons why many relationships simply hit a plateau and fail to grow beyond that point. If you want to develop a truly meaningful relationship, you need to make sure that your relationship is growing. As you get older as you mature, your expectations change. Unfortunately, many people find themselves in relationships that they have simply outgrown. Here are some common factors to lookout for if you want your relationship to truly mature:

Clash of Expectations

Almost all relationships start out pretty much the same way: You feel great about your partner or your partner feels great about you. There is a special chemistry when you’re around each other. It seems that you are in a special emotional place when you’re in each other’s company. You often wish that those moments would never end. As beautiful as those special moments may be, the reality is that when people enter into a personal relationship, they have expectations. They may not be very vocal about it at first. They might not be even aware of it, but people have expectations.

That’s what we are. We are creatures of expectations. We don’t go into most situations without an expectation or a picture in our mind of how things should be. One of the most common reasons why relationships never passed a certain stage is because the set of expectations you bring to the table and the set of expectations your partner brings to the table only match up to a certain point. Once you reach this certain point, once you learn enough about each other, either you don’t want to move forward or you just want to retain what you have.

This could be a serious problem. You might just be sweeping major issues under the rug. If you want your relationship to truly grow and mature and go on to the next level, you have to be very clear as to what your expectations are of each other. Expectations are very powerful because if people don’t have their expectations met, they become disappointed. When they’re disappointed, they become frustrated. There’s a snowball effect and it can really result in your relationship turning into an invisible prison for both of you.

Differing Assumptions

Closely related to the clash of assumptions described above is the problem of different assumptions. People go into relationships assuming certain things about the other person. They often assume certain things about the relationship. One of the most obvious and common assumptions people make is that the other person wants to be in a relationship with you. This is a pretty fair assumption to make. After all, why would somebody devote his or her personal time to be with you if they don’t want to be in a relationship?

Well, you would be surprised as to how unclear many people are regarding what they want from a relationship. Some people just want some sort of lights, informal, often physical or sexual relationship. Others are kind of in transition in their lives and they’re looking at the relationship really more as some sort of emotional shelter or some sort of psychological halfway house till they can get their act together. It’s very important to be very clear as to what your assumptions are and most importantly, communicate those assumptions to the person that you’re in a relationship with. Otherwise, just like with clashing expectations, you might feel yourself constantly frustrated. You might feel constantly disappointed. All these issues can bubble up to the surface and might even explode and jeopardize your relationship.

Different Love Languages

There are four different love languages. These are the ways people express their affection to that special person in their life. The four love languages are: Affirmation, gift giving, acts of service and physical touch. The problem with failing to understand each other’s love language can be fatal to your relationship. For example: If you are a person who expresses affection by verbalizing encouragement, you also expect your partner to verbalize his or her emotional encouragement in term. Alternatively, if you are a person who likes to give small gifts, you also expect small gifts.

The problem with love language mismatch is when you keep speaking your particular love language and you never really feel that your affection is being returned in the way you want it. The problem is that you fail to see that your partner is giving you affection and expressing it in the way he or she prefers. It is not uncommon for people who prefer physical love languages to hug their partner and expect to be hugged and touched back, but only gets verbal affirmations. These results in both partners feeling frustrated and feeling like their significant other doesn’t really appreciate them. All these partners need to do is really pay attention to how their partners expresses their affection and mirror those signs and tokens of appreciation.

Competing Personalities versus Cooperating Personalities

As the old saying goes, opposites attract. You might be a shy person, but you might find yourself physically and emotionally drowned to somebody who is very outgoing and confrontational. There’s no explaining why certain personalities get together. That’s part of the beauty and the magic of human attraction and love. The problem is once you get passed that stage when you’re fascinated with each other and you might see yourself in a situation where you’re actually competing against each other in your relationship. You might try to feel the same roles.

This is a serious problem because everybody is different. Everybody has their strong suits and everybody has their weaknesses. If your relationship focuses too much on both of you stepping in each other’s toes trying to do the same things and competing with other, this can really wear your relationship down. This can produce a lot of tension that can result in your relationship falling apart. The reality is that you’re not enemies. You’re on the same team. It takes a little bit of maturity and clear-headed thinking to focus on what you’re strong in and let your partner focus on the things that you’re weak in. It doesn’t mean that you’re losing control. It doesn’t mean that you’re irresponsible. It doesn’t mean that you’re weak. All it means is that you’re being smart about your relationship and trying to put together a relationship that works. Relationship that works is a strong relationship because your partner is strong when you’re weak and you’re strong when your partner is weak.

Failure to Let Go Of The Past

Another key problem that really retards relationships is when one of the partners or both partners have issues with either past relationships or family issues. It’s not uncommon for people to have issues in the past with family members that they can’t seem to let go of. Similarly, they might have a past boyfriend or girlfriend that hurt them so much that they basically judge all future relationships based on the lens of that particular person that hurt them so much. This is a very unfair situation. When you get into a new relationship, you should judge that person and interact to that person based on that person’s qualities, based on what that person brings to the table.

It’s really unfair for you to hold up a mirror to that person based on the image of somebody from the past. It’s not uncommon for people to fail to live up to past relationships. Moreover, it’s really unfair to expect that they would have the same weaknesses and same problems as the person that hurt you from the past. If you look at your relationships this way, you are doomed to repeat that past bad relationship way into the future. Why? Your future relationships turn into your past relationship.

Failure to Forgive

Closely related to the very common problem of failure to let go of the past is the emotional trap of unforgiveness. Many people who are unable to forgive past hurts and past relationships think that they’re being strong. They think that they’re in control of the situation when they hold a grudge against somebody from the past. The reality is that they are slaves of their past pain. Every time they think about this person or this past incident, the pain becomes fresh again. They become victimized again.

As a result, their present relationships and the people that love them suffer because they constantly relive these hurtful things from the past and can’t seem to move on. A key measurement of a relationship that is worth having and a relationship that is maturing is when you or your partner learn to forgive whatever elements from the past that truly hold you back from taking your current relationship to the next level.

If you want your relationship to grow and to live up to its fullest potential, you have to be on the lookout for the common problems listed above. The great news about these problems is that people have overcome them in the past, people are overcoming them now and people will overcome them in the future. Just because these elements are present in your relationship, doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is doomed. It’s a good idea however to recognize these factors so you can clearly communicate with your partner that you need to resolve these issues. Once you’re on the same page, you increase your chances of your relationship truly becoming fulfilling, rewarding and enriching.